This is the lovely fruit tart that theoni brought over for me last night to celebrate my successful driving test. I had a piece but gave Cj the kiwi that was on top, then said goodnight to Joe and Leah. About 5 minutes later the roof of my mouth went numb and bumpy, and I started to break out in hives. FUN! Another fruit off the list.

Anyway, in (almost) reverse chronological order, the rest of my weekend -

Earlier on Saturday I hung out at the pool with Cj and maetenshi for about 3 hours, at one point drawing a fake tattoo of Isis onto my friend Christie's back with a sharpie. It turned out really nice, but as I still don't know how to get pictures off of my phone you'll have to wait until I see her again for a picture.

Then I went and saw a show on campus that was using one of my short plays (The Hammer Man or Hammerman, I posted it earlier) as its closing piece, and I have to tell you it was so well directed I got shivers. The whole concept was like a traveling gypsy circus type thing, with a whole lot of fake blood and severed arms and such. And despite being super low-budget, all the elements worked together really well. But honestly the best part [for me] was watching my piece and having the random dog that one of the audience members brought growl at the villain in it, who was carrying a giant red hammer. That dog is genius. Now I have to write a dog into my piece - or at least some growling noises.

On Friday I met with my director for the Tempest, then went and saw a production of the Tempest that was happening at my school (which was excellent - they used acapella in lieu of live music). Afterwards one of the other fifth years (with a big entourage of people following him) grabbed me and said, "Hey, you're coming with us." I just kind of went, "Uhh... Okay!" We went to his car and he explained that we were going to a spa to sit in a jacuzzi and sauna room. So for about an hour on friday I randomly ended up wrapped in a towel sipping tea in a jacuzzi tub.

Then I taught my last two sections (in a row) and showed up at the review section the other TAs and I were supposed to teach, and I was pretty much on my own. One of the other TAs came a bit late, and the other one didn't show up at all (his parents were in town). It was one of the more terrifying experiences in my life, facing a whole room full of students expecting me to tell them everything that was on the test, and having to tell them that they needed to help each other study while I mediated, and not get all the answers from me.

Then I had my final rehearsal/showing for the ballet piece I worked on this quarter. It turned out spectacular, and the professor had almost only good things to say which is always fantastic. One of the dancers from Delizie is a photo student, so he came and took movement and portrait-style shots of the piece. Hopefully by next week I'll have those photos, ones of Hammerman, video of the show I directed in Fall, video of the ballet piece in Ballet Rep, video of Delizie, and a shirt with the logo I designed for the student plays festival. Whew.

Today I have to finish grading, then tomorrow at 8 am I proctor a final, rehearse all day, then have the final showing for my Directing Studio scene at 7 at night. NUTS! But that's just about it for this year.

1) I lectured to a class of about 60-70 students on Thursday about the Chinese origins of "Caucasian Chalk Circle" and Brecht's Epic Theater. It seems to have gone well.

2) In three rehearsals the dancers and I managed to finish that ballet piece I've been so worried about, and it turned out to be an awesome collaboration. Emphasis on collaboration. :) So now we just need to run it consistently until it's clean. The performance isn't even until the 31st.

3) Sections today went really well. The professor visited and gave the okay, so I know I haven't been doing anything wrong so far.

So even though this quarter has been really rough (in more ways than one), Things are still going okay. And maybe I'll even get to have some down time. I hope.

I just got back from two days of rehearsals in Berkeley. There was a lot going on, and I'm wiped.

Also I missed classes that I really didn't want to miss.

I just paid $900 in bills for this month, and I don't even pay rent.

Whine, whine whine.

Side note: There was a wild turkey outside the house where we were staying, and it kept us up all night, gobbling.

Gobble Gobble Gobble.

I'm in a weird mood.

by Alfred Jarry
From The Selected Works of Alfred Jarry
(Grove Press, 1965).
Translated by Roger Shattuck.

Barabbas, slated to race, was scratched.

Pilate, the starter, pulling out his clepsydra or water clock, an operation which wet his hands unless he had merely spit on them -- Pilate gave the send-off.

Jesus got away to a good start.

In those days, according to the excellent sports commentator St. Matthew, it was customary to flagellate the sprinters at the start the way a coachman whips his horses. The whip both stimulates and gives a hygienic massage. Jesus, then, got off in good form, but he had a fiat right away. A bed of thorns punctured the whole circumference of his front tire.

Today in the shop windows of bicycle dealers you can see a reproduction of this veritable crown of thorns as an ad for puncture-proof tires. But Jesus's was an ordinary single-tube racing tire.

The two thieves, obviously in cahoots and therefore "thick as thieves," took the lead.

It is not true that there were any nails. The three objects usually shown in the ads belong to a rapid-change tire tool called the "Jiffy."

We had better begin by telling about the spills; but before that the machine itself must be described.

The bicycle frame in use today is of relativelv recent invention. It appeared around 1890. Previous to that time the body of the machine was constructed of two tubes soldered together at right angles. It was generally called the right-angle or cross bicycle. Jesus, after his puncture, climbed the slope on foot, carrying on his shoulder the bike frame, or, if you will, the cross.

Contemporary engravings reproduce this scene from photographs. But it appears that the sport of cycling, as a result of the well known accident which put a grievous end to the Passion race and which was brought up to date almost on its anniversary by the similar accident of Count Zborowski on the Turbie slope -- the sport of cycling was for a time prohibited by state ordinance. That explains why the illustrated magazines, in reproducing this celebrated scene, show bicycles of a rather imaginary design. They confuse the machine's cross frame with that other cross, the straight handlebar. They represent Jesus with his hands spread on the handlebars, and it is worth mentioning in this connection that Jesus rode lying flat on his back in order to reduce his air resistance.

Note also that the frame or cross was made of wood, just as wheels are to this day.

A few people have insinuated falsely that Jesus's machine was a draisienne , an unlikely mount for a hill-climbing contest. According to the old cyclophile hagiographers, St. Briget, St. Gregory of Tours, and St. Irene, the cross was equipped with adevice which they name suppedaneum. There is no need to be a great scholar to translate this as "pedal."

Lipsius, Justinian, Bosius, and Erycius Puteanus describe an other accessory which one still finds, according to Cornelius Curtius in 1643, on Japanese crosses: a protuberance of leather or wood on the shaft which the rider sits astride -- manifestly the seat or saddle.

This general description, furthermore, suits the definition of a bicycle current among the Chinese: "A little mule which is led by the ears and urged along by showering it with kicks."

We shall abridge the story of the race itself, for it has been narrated in detail by specialized works and illustrated by sculpture and painting visible in monuments built to house such art. There are fourteen turns in the difficult Golgotha course. Jesus took his first spill at the third turn. His mother, who was in the stands, became alarmed.

His excellent trainer, Simon the Cyrenian, who but for the thorn accident would have been riding out in front to cut the wind, carried the machine.

Jesus, though carrying nothing, perspired heavily. It is not certain whether a female spectator wiped his brow, but we know that Veronica, a girl reporter, got a good shot of him with her Kodak.

The second spill came at the seventh turn on some slippery pavement. Jesus went down for the third time at the eleventh turn, skidding on a rail.

The Israelite demimondaines waved their handkerchiefs at the eighth.

The deplorable accident familiar to us all took place at the twelfth turn. Jesus was in a dead heat at the time with the thieves. We know that he continued the race airborne -- but that is another story.

My hair is now pink and glows under black light.

Directing Studio is my new safe place.

Delizie rehearsals are great. It's so playful and low key, and it has satyrs chasing nymphs. Yes!

I'm so excited about the dance piece I'm doing later in the quarter. Title: "After the Fall: Adam and the New Madonna."

A script I wrote ("The Hammer Man") is being produced in a Grand Guignol-type dark circus cabaret festival thing in Berkeley later in the summer.

I got my welcome packet for my Directing internship today.


Later!

Screw you and your tests. I'm off, and I'm never coming back!!!

Ohkay, maybe I'll come back. In a week or so.

I bought two wonderbras yesterday. It feels like I'm wearing a suit of armor.

Finished all obligations except my costume final on Wednesday... then it's Vegas, baby.

Please let me not be scheduled to teach a 9 AM section next quarter.

Please pretty please.

So I went to my reunion on Friday, even though I wasn't feeling too good, and it was nice. Not as fabulous as it could have been because some people I hoped were going to show up didn't, and some people that I knew would never show up... well, you know. But I had a good time regardless. Cj came with me and behaved himself beautifully - in fact, some of the teachers behaved themselves worse than he did.

I wanted to go again on Saturday, but between picking up my little sister from the airport and still not feeling good, I just didn't make it. I hope everybody forgives me.

I saw "300" - and I must say, I liked it. Gerard Butler never ceases to amaze me. Look at this!



The man is great. Anyway. I didn't like the casting of the lead female role, and I had a little giggle every time David Wenham started narrating (Daisy!), AND I had a big problem with the handling of *** Spoiler! *** the adultery [She just dropped her blouse! Just like that! What the hell was that?], *** end spoiler *** but the battle scenes - genius. The best part of the whole experience, though, was that I saw it sitting behind a whole row full of early 20s white guys that thought they were gangsters, and during one part where rock music started playing, all of them started rocking their seats in time to the beat of the music and interjecting with "sick!" and "Awesome!"

It was classic.

Well, aside from that, I just worked on school stuff all weekend, including sewing the bottom half of my costume project (which I will post pictures of later, I'm sure). It's gotten really warm here lately, and since daylight savings time started it feels like summer. I had lemonade, corn, and guacamole-smothered steak last night to celebrate.


ps. A weird part of this cold is that when you wake up in the morning your salivary glands are all swollen. It's a bizarre feeling.

Yesterday morning I woke up with a little bit of a stuffy nose, as sometimes happens in my house (central heating + closed doors = dry nasal passages). I felt okay teaching my sections, but by the end of the second one I was blowing my nose quite a lot. I left my 12:00 class a few times to blow my nose, but other than that I was ok. I saw a professor I'm supposed to have had a meeting with today and asked her if we were still on, then I sat down in my office for a little while I waited for my lunch to microwave. Then I started feeling not so good. By the time I was halfway through my 3 hour afternoon workshop I was feeling really woozy, a bit achey, and just generally not quite all there. But I pressed on, because as one of my professors admonished me, "We are theater professionals. We do not make excuses." And she's right. I felt a bit foolish telling her I was sick after that.

So, I finished up my class and collapsed in the car on the way home. As soon as I got there I emailed professors telling them I was sick and couldn't come to school tomorrow, I canceled my meeting, and collapsed in bed. Cj woke me up three hours later and took my temperature and it was up over 102 degrees. Over the course of the night it got up to 103.4, and I briefly considered going to the emergency room, but instead took Advil and that seemed to bring it down a little. Basically I slept for the rest of the night and most of the morning, and have been lying on the couch ever since. I feel a little bit better, but not enough to go to school or even go to my haircut appointment that I've been wanting for weeks. :( Basically, I'm having a pretty shitty time of it, but oh well. That's life.

I'm still waiting to hear whether or not I have a job this summer, but I'm a little glad they haven't called me yet. At this point it's not certain I would be very coherent.

p.s. I got a 19/20 on my midterm. :)

Had the first day of my second set of classes today (Mondays and Wednesdays I have Yoga and the class I'm TAing, Tuesdays and Thursdays I have History of Clothing and Costume and Play Development).

Yoga was great - it's at 11:30, not at 7 am like a lot of yoga classes, and the teacher is really flexible (ha ha). For most of the poses we were doing she offered a few others that we could take if we felt more comfortable with one or another. I get the feeling I could come in one day and say "I'm having a really bad day, could I just stay in child's pose [lying on your knees with your elbows on the ground and your head on your hands] for the whole class?" and she'd be okay with it.

I felt great afterwards - really relaxed and energized, not at all like what happens when I do cardio or play DDR. I even skipped taking the bus across campus and walked (translation: wandered around until I found the right way) for about a half hour on the pedestrian paths until I made it to Theater Arts. Had a quick meeting with one of my dancers, then one with the Professor for the class I'm TAing to figure out what I'm supposed to be teaching tomorrow during the 9 am section (uuuughhghghh), then the lecture for said class.

Immediately following the lecture I had a rehearsal for the dance concert, and I really feel bad for my dancers because I gave them a LOT more to learn and we have a preview on Wednesday. But they learn quickly and we're meeting for a half hour beforehand, and if they feel really uncertain about it I still have another section to show. Not too shabby.

So far so good for this quarter. And even though I have a lot more time actually scheduled during the days, I feel like I actually have less to do. Funny how that works.